Scott Deininger hopes being a big loser will finally make him a winner. If you think the following story is pathetic, you can vote for him through Sunday---he's one of three finalists in a nationwide loser contest.

Deininger is 29; he doesn't make much money as a stand-up comic and pretty much works job to job; he lives with his mother, step-father, and 17 year old sister, in Shorewood (near Joliet.) But what really makes Derenger a top-quality loser, is that the home he shares with his family rivals Fred Sanford's house from Sanford&Son, where you could never clearly define where the junkyard ended, and the living room started.

"It's a little awkward because mom basically collects junk and I basically call the house a flea market with bedrooms. We've got a handicapped toilet chair, four high chairs, and three vacuum cleaners on the front porch. She's got on the calendar the days that everbody is throwing garbage out and she collects it-she calls it 'curb side shopping.' I call it 'picking up crap off the side of the road.' We don't need 14 Cracker Barrel cooks' jackets, a hula hoop or a giant stuffed Gonzo."

When mom had a yard sale, she made money---but not by selling her crap.

People dumped off their stuff like it was Salvation Army and mom just started putting price tags on everything.

I have to imagine that most women that Derenger brings home wouldn't get past the first kitchen appliance on the front lawn. Surely, his love life must suck more than the three vaccum cleaners on the front porch put together.

"Girls come over the house and I think they really like me when really they just want to buy a lamp that my mom got out of the garbage."

But let's not put all the blame on mom. They say there's an ass for every saddle, and

Step-dad is mom's partner in grime. He has a shooting range in the basement and he's been building a real airplane in the garage for 13 years.

But Deininger is no "Big Dummy" like Fred Sanford's son Lamont. He sees a way to cash in---with your help. Vote for him at www.apartments.com or www.roommates.com by Sunday, and he could win $10,000 to help him leave Ma and Pa Kettle and they could win a makeover from HGTV's Debbie Travis.

In the meantime, it's been a great source of material for his stand-up routine. He's performing at Zanies in St.Charles this weekend.

"The kitchen is-you can't see the kitchen table. The pool table-you can't see the pool table. I have to do this simply because, $10,000---this contest was made for me to lose." Copyright © 2004, WGN-TV