Saturday, November 05, 2005



<br>
8:24 PM<br> 
<div style="clear:both;"></div><strong>Farewell to Minot</strong><br /><br />8:29 p.m.  The show's about to begin.  It's out last one of this 3-week tour.  The bartender from the last two nights is here, not working, and hammered.  He's been at the Minot State football game all day.  "We lost by one fucking point," he said.  Now he wants us to have a beer with him before he and his buddies head out for me, you guessed it, beer.  "We've been drinking since 9 this morning.  Why stop now?"<br /><br />One of the two blackjack tables is going strong, 3 guys bellied up.  It's weird to have a card game going on during the show.  "This guy sucks, let's go throw our money away."<br /><br />My room's about a 2-minute walk from the Reflections Lounge.  Jeremy's the emcee and counting open seats right now.  It's Saturday night so it could be packed by the time Bud comes on stage.  <br /><br />I'm sitting in the very back next to a couple.  The guy has on an 80's sweater and a trucker's cap, black.  His ponytail is long, brown and reaching the middle of his back.<br /><br />8:45 p.m.  Jeremy's onstage right now and I will be there in about 5 minutes.  He's said nothing for like 90 seconds.  Awkward.  Not sure what the fuck he's doing.  He just welcomes the crowd.  For a while you just heard the cardtable chips crashing against each other.  The ponytail guy just thanked me, per Jeremy's request.  I'm gonna move my stuff and get ready for the show.  A Bud select in hand from the drunk bartender.<br /><br />9:35 p.m.  I'm in the lobby.  Reflections is packed so I had to come out here, plus the connection wasn't that strong.  There's a new bar in the hotel that just re-opened last night.  It has 6 flat screen TV's in it.  Really a nice place.<br /><br />That show was fuckin' horrible.  I hated every single minute of it.  They barely laughed at anything.  Nothing is worse than knowing you're funny but having a bunch of fuckin' trash from North fuckin' Dakota just sittin' and starin' at you.  Now I will carry this feeling with me till my next show Tuesday in South Bend.<br /><br />(A wedding reception is in the hall direcly across from the club.  People are wandering aimlessly - kids, adults, assholes who didn't laugh at me.)<br /><br />Last night's show was awesome with half as many people in there.  I sold two shirts but didn't care.  Well, yes I did.  I would rather eat in and sell shit than do well and sell nothing.  Who the fuck cares up here.  I won't be coming back any time soon and I'll make sure of it.  I just can't keep doing these shithole gigs 16 hours from home for barely any money and then barely break even after expenses.  I'm 30 and bitter as hell.  And it's all my fault.  Write a fuckin' joke already, dickhead.  Then when I do it falls on deaf ears and receives empty stares.  I'm not a smart comic by any strectch but people leaned toward one another tonight to explain things.  Shoot me now.<br /><br />There's two chicks in the lobby sitting on a couch.  They look hot as hell and need to start touching their pussies right away to bring me out of this shit.  What a shitty feeling.  You're not supposed to hate something you call your career or your dream as much as I do right now.<br /><br />My battery's gonna die soon.  The emcee just came over to give me a pep talk.  "You're way too hard on yourself.  Bud and I were talking about that."  Two people from the wedding, a young disgustingly gorgeous young couple, are heading to their room.  Presumably.  I would just like today to sit and watch him rope her.  She may be the hottest girl I've seen in a few months.  High-brunette  with a black skirt waving back and forth with each step.  They're back.  "I'm so excited," she just said.  So am I my dear, so am I.<br /><br />Today I changed my oil in the parking lot.  I think North Dakota is state number 18 for me.  I'm 30 and keep track of the states in which I change my oil.  How pathetic.  I budget myself around my car maintenance.  Excellent.  <br /><br />Okay, battery's really low.  I'm heading back in to watch Bud do well.  Enough self-loathing for now.  Haven't you had enough, too?<div style="clear:both; padding-bottom: 0.25em;"></div>
<br><br>
<hr class="rule1">


Friday, November 04, 2005



<br>
11:20 AM<br> 
<div style="clear:both;"></div><strong>Just some random thoughts from North Dakota</strong><br /><br />It's Friday just before noon.  Out my hotel window the trees are covered in snow.  We're up on a hill so I can see some of the city, the roofs of houses glistening white and the barren land off in the distance.  It's pretty up here, quiet.  People are friendly everywhere I've been.  Had breakfast just down the road the other day, place called the Roll n' Pin.  3 buttermilk pancakes and 3 sausage patties.  My diet of late has been horrendous.  Yesterday I ate 2 donuts in the morning.  For a late afternoon lunch ther was the Colonel's extra crispy fried chicken, 3 pieces, a biscuit, some mashed taters and gravy and some pop, the first being a Dr. Pepper and the next being some A&W Root Beer, right outta the keg, the way it should be.  After the show last night I made a run for the border: 2 spicy chicken tacos and two regular soft sheel tacos, one of which I just ate for breakfast.  Yum.  No sauce though.  I had asked for hot sauce and they stiffed me.<br /><br />I'll write more later.  Bud Andersen and I are set to meet for lunch.<div style="clear:both; padding-bottom: 0.25em;"></div>
<br><br>
<hr class="rule1">


Tuesday, November 01, 2005



<br>
8:22 PM<br> 
<div style="clear:both;"></div><strong>My, my, myyyyyyy Minot</strong><br /><br />On a Tuesday night with nothing to do.  And I do mean nothing.  I'm writing this from the 'business center' of the International Inn.  In reality I'm in a hotel room with a desk and a coffee table that has a ceramic top.  It's literally just a regular room made into an office.  Kinda creepy, dark, with just the humming sound of the computer modem.  It whistles occasionally too.<br /><br />I checked out the lounge where the show will be this weekend.  Another guy was at the bar finishing a beer, two guy sat directly behind me at a table talking about work - they appeared to be construction workers from their dress and nature of conversation.  A couple sat facing the big screen featuring a poker game.  The screen came down just inches from touching the very stage I'll be telling jokes from come Thursday night.  Two other guys sat at a casino table playing some type of card game.  They have those everywhere up here, casinos all over the place - in laudromats, gas stations, bowling alleys, sports bars, nursing homes.  Well not sure about the latter.<br /><br />The bartender wiped the drool off his arm and woke up just as I bellied up to the bar.  I hate to be negative, but I'd hanging myself would be a better option than bartending on a Tuesday night in Minot.  Not only are you making no money but you've also got no one to talk to.  Fuck that.<br /><br />I finished my Jack and Coke and went to the front desk.  Maybe they knew where I could go.  "No where tonight," the tall kid behind the counter said.  The other guy working alongside, much shorter and with his hair in his face, just laughed in agreement.  He was also helping the Domino's delivery guy locate a guest who ordered a pizza but never answered the door.<br /><br />"How many people go to school at Minot State," I asked the tall guy, obviously a basketball player.  "Maybe 2000," he said.  Just then the guy on the couch watching an NBA game chimed in and began talking high school basekball with the tall kid.  The kid later revealed that he played ball at Minot State for a year.  He pointed out a few places but nothing worth jumping at.  Still, I'm heading back to my room to shower and at least give the Minot nightlife a whirl.<div style="clear:both; padding-bottom: 0.25em;"></div>
<br><br>
<hr class="rule1">


<a href="/NEW/Journal/journal_archive.html">Archives</a>