Friday, October 07, 2005
1:30 PM

The Rockies through the clouds just outside the plane yesterday.

Lovely waters hitting Newport Beach, the sun shining brightly. Care to join me anyone?

Southern California Livin' 2005

Coming to you live from Newport Beach California. It is 315 pm on Thursday. My flight landed around 10 this morning. I cannot use contractions and other punctuation because they will post oddly on my site. At least on the journal page. Nevermind the typos like using 'there' improperly. Why Blogger won’t work with me in a mystery. Just read on and enjoy. Thanks.

On my flight here I sat in the very last row and in the middle seat. So much for the karma thing being on my side. The guy to my right was some computer geek trying to build a spaceship from his laptop. On my right was a nice looking black woman. She gave up her first class seat option because it was not a window seat. YOU KNOW THEY HAVE MEDICATION FOR THAT KINDA THINKING, I joked to her. She laughed and then told me she would be grabbing my arm if turbulence got bad. FINE, I said to her, IF I FALL ASLEEP AND END UP ON YOUR SHOULDER, I TEND TO DROOL LIKE A PAVLOVIAN EXPERIMENT. She didnt seem to mind, even chuckling a bit.

The in flight movie was Batman Begins. Never had seen it before and since my seat was so comfy, why not give it a whirl. No food was provided on the 4 hours flight. Check that, no free food was provided. For 5 bucks you could get a paper box wrapped in plastic and have at it. Soda, water and juice were complimentary as was the teething cookie served with the free drinks. Alcoholic bevs were also 5 bucks a shot.

Such shit. I know bankruptcy is a bttch oh holy United Airlines but for 320 bucks a ticket and a middles seat, a sandwich on the house wouldn’t be asking too much. I had a Pepsi on the rocks, the entire can at least. They earned a few points back for not giving me a splash of soda. Later I had some orange juice.

I think I managed to sleep for 30 minutes or so. My mouth hung open most of the time and my head bobbed back and forth like an old man snoozing in church.

As we readied to deboard the plane, I asked the lady next to me if she was from Chicago or Los Angeles. FROM CHICAGO, she shared. HERE FOR MY UNCLE’S FUNERAL. I paused for a minute. SORRY TO HEAR THAT. I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT AS WELL AS POSSIBLE THEN. That explained her all black attire. She then added that they just had a family reunion in August and she saw him there last. Eventually she asked about my trip and I told her about the friends wedding I was to attend. I SING IN WEDDINGS, she told me. ALL OVER THE WORLD. WE HAVE A GROUP CALLED SOUNDS OF BLACKNESS. EVEN WON 3 GRAMMIES WITH THEM. I SERVE ON THE GRAMMY AWARDING BOARD, she continued. THAT’S AWESOME. IVE BEEN SITTING NEXT TO A CELEBRITY THIS WHOLE TIME. A GRAMMY WINNING SINGER AT THAT. Instead of letting her bask in the glow, I chimed in that I was a comedian. I HAVENT WON ANYTHING YET, THOUGH. WELL, 25 BUCKS AT THIS BAR ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY WORK BUT SO WHAT. YOU HAVE A TRIFECTA OF TROPHIES AT HOME IN THE SHAPE OF AN OLD PHONOGRAPH. NOW I FEEL LIKE I WAS THE ONE SITTING IN FIRST CLASS. I took down her name and website and gave her my lone business card. You never know. HAVE A GOOD DAY, BRIDGET.

Its gorgeous here on the pier in Newport Beach. Except for the scantily clad people who should not be. They make me wanna run and do pushups right now. To the point of exhaustion or death even. A an old lady just walked by in a one piece brown suit. Yuck. Thank God UPS wont adopt that as their uniform. WHAT CAN BROWN DO FOR YOU? How bout provide an upset stomach. Yuck.

Amazing what the change of scenery can do for your mood. Sure it would be nice to share the beauty of Southern California with someone who matters, but Ive grown accustomed to experiencing these moments alone. While my standup is in front of people, strangers usually and sometimes friends from across the country, the downtime can be a world of lonliness. Even if youre with people, you can still be lonely. The people you meet on the road do not know you, your troubles, struggles, dreams, wishes, quirks. You can have a drink with them or even a cup of a coffee but still there is a lack of connection for you know that its only a matter of time before you must move on. People come into my life for a reason but sometimes Id like to have them here a little longer. Or sometimes not at all so as to avoid the goodbyes and WHO KNOWS WHEN I WILL SEE YA AGAIN. If I were a songwriter that would have been more profound.

As I walked along the beach, an exotic looking, maybe eastern European blonde was posing for pictures under the pier. It smelled like dead fish so the sight of her squatting inches above the sand in a bikini was not so hot. Then I plugged my nose and my boner reappeared. I turned back to watch the perverts take more pictures of her and I almost ran right into a lifeguard post. Could have broken my nose if my trusty erection was not there to take the brunt of it.

Another lady was eating a frozen banana like she was auditioning for an x rated Hoover commercial. Right at a beachfront ice cream stand. I love California.

Im supposed to hit a comedy night tonight down the street. Not sure what kind of place it is. My friend Jenni lives nearby and has rounded up some friends to come on out. Since its close enough to Hollywood and people are all into stars, fame and fortune out here, it may not be worth it. Or it could be something awesome. Sometimes you have to sign up weeks in advance. Other times as long as you have some people with you, your good to go. We shall see.

Its like 90 degress now, around 4 pm. Jenni still has an hour left at work. I do not really know anyone else down here. Well, those I have called have yet to call me back so I might as well not know them. My friend Kris lives nearby. She and I used to work together at Wrigley before she moved out here 2 years ago. I called this guy Andrew who I know through my former roommate John. I stayed with Andrew when I was out here back in 2001. Haven’t talked to him since. Maybe an email or two, but nothing else. John says hes called Andrew a few times in the past year and has yet to receive a call back. I expect the same, but since Im right down the street from his house he could feel more compelled to call.

The waves are crashing in against the shore. The ocean is cold but kids are still playing in it. Adults are too. I simply walked along the shore, the water covering my ankles at its highest point. I think I could live out here no problem. Expenses would a bit much and a roommate would need to be had again, but it would be much closer to where its at.

Because there are so many comedians and actors out here, stage time, quality stage time, is a premium. If no one knows you, getting on a stage in front of agents and Hollywood decision makers is unlikely. But like most things in life, you never know. Chances are better to get seen here than in a pizza joint in central Wisconsin. Perhaps I will move out here when my lease is up next May. I should be able to get a job at either Dodger Stadium or Staples Center, both Levy properties like Wrigley Field. I could work the glorified waiter gig a few more years, make some money to survive and do auditions and showcases when the time calls. I would be by the beach, around beautiful people and in bars where smoking in not allowed. Wearing shirts twice before washing them is a huge plus.

I need a drink. That is all for now. 20 minutes of laptop battery life left. When I say a drink I mean some lemonade or maybe a slush of some sorts. Gonna try to stay off the booze for the most part. Too expensive out here. Unless there free.