Monday, January 17, 2005



<br>
12:14 AM<br> 
<strong>Saying good-bye way too soon</strong><br /><br />Sometimes even the comedy has to take a backseat. Below is the column I wrote about my high school classmate, Jason Shelton, who died in a work-related accident two months ago. After the column are six unedited emails sent to me by some of Jason's family. Writing about my memories of Jason and paying respects to him and his family and friends was the least I could do. My thoughts and prayers are with all of them.<br /><br />***********************************************************<br /><br />(the article, in its entirety)<br /><br /><em><strong>Friend's death hard to handle </strong></em><br /><br />It's just not the way you want to be reunited with some high school buddies. Not when you have to say good-bye to a friend taken from us way too soon.<br /><br />More than 11 years had passed since the Joliet Catholic Class of 1993 gathered in St. Raymond's Cathedral. On that day, Jason Shelton received his diploma. On Nov. 29, 2004, Jason was laid to rest.<br /><br />As the result of a fatal work accident the day before Thanksgiving, Jason left this world that he made better by being here. I had lost touch with him through the years, but from the tears shed by hundreds paying their last respects and compilations of pictures, I soon remembered the person he was and the lives he so positively affected.<br /><br />I won't pretend that I suffered the same loss as did Jason's closest friends and my classmates, like Joe Furlane, Josh Vallera, Tom Lopez, Jason Hill, Bob Dockendorf, Joe Butscher and John Delrose. I didn't think the first time I would see that group together again would be with tears running down our faces, tears I'd never seen from them before.<br /><br />They were among his best friends who evolved from thrill-seeking teenagers into grown men with new families, careers and homes, sharing in each other's joys and successes. But even the toughest athlete or strongest man can't hold back sorrow when a genuinely good person leaves us.<br /><br />Like John Delrose said to me, "He (Jason) never said a bad word about anyone."<br /><br />John went on to tell me that some friends had planned on gathering at Jason's house the night before Thanksgiving. Instead of gathering at a bar, Jason had invited his friends to his home.<br /><br />"We still went there after we found out. There were drinks and food all ready for us," Delrose said.<br /><br />Even up until the very end, Jason had taken care of his friends.<br /><br />Often, people claim to understand what others go through when they suffer the tragic loss of a loved one. But unless we've truly experienced something this unfortunate, we can't relate. I've never lost someone very close to me aside from elderly friends or family or others who were quite ill. My deepest sympathies and prayers go out to all of Jason's friends and family.<br /><br />Seeing Jason's young wife, Melissa, his bride of just more than two years, struggling to simply stand in the midst of his passing is something for which you can't prepare.<br /><br />As Pastor Gavin said in his reflection of Jason, "We all wonder why."<br /><br />Why someone so young, just 29 years old, with a bright future? No theologian or anyone else has the answers.<br /><br />My memories of Jason are of his infectious laugh. It always seemed to come at just the right time. When silence would fall, Jason's boyish giggle would radiate and serve as a chain reaction for whoever was around. I imagine he kept up his sense of humor as he got older, while also remaining close with the people he made laugh his entire life.<br /><br />Since I was useless when it came to cars and electronics, barely figuring out how to pop the hood and turn on a Walk-man, in high school, Jason and Joe Furlane helped install a stereo and huge speakers in my car, a 1988 Pontiac Lemans.<br /><br />Looking back, I did more standing around than helping, I guess. Jason and Joe tried showing me what to do in case I might have wanted to try it on my own some day, but they knew such a phenomenon would never happen.<br /><br />A week or so after Jason's services, I received a card from his wife, Melissa, thanking me for my love and support during their trying time. I didn't talk with her at the wake, for she was overcome with sorrow and despair of which I still can't fathom; but Melissa gathered herself enough to write and tell me, someone she'd never met, thank you.<br /><br />You're so very welcome, Melissa. And thank you for being in Jason's life.<br /><br /><br /><br />--------------------------------------------------------------------<br />(emails in response)<br /><br />Scott,<br />I didn't get to know you as well as I know some of the other guys that Jason ran around with. I'm sure that you are just as fine of a man as all of the rest of the "Boys" as I call them. Believe me I brag on all of them as I did Jason. I can't imagine that a finer bunch of young men could ever be found. I just wanted to thank you for the article that you wrote about Jason. It really hit home and reminded me of how great of a kid that Jason was and of the many lives that he touch in such a positive way. This is not just because he was my Son but mainly because he was Jason. We all wonder why such a great kid is taken from us in such a terrible way in the prime of his life but as of yet I haven't found an answer as to why. I doubt if that question will ever be answered. He is missed so much by so many. Thanks again.<br /><br />Jason's Dad,<br /><br />Jerry<br /><br />**********************************************<br />Aloha Scott, This is Melissa's Aunt Jenny & Uncle Rolf here. We are actually in Maui right now. We did read your article about Jason online this morning. I spent the month after the accident staying with Melissa trying to help her through this horrible time. We have talked to her everyday since we left( Dec. 29th) and hope that she is getting through each day as best as she can. She called this morning to let us know she saw your article in the paper, and we quickly tried to find it on-line. It was very accurate in how we all are still trying to get through this. Jason had many friends and family that cared deeply for him, and Big John was right....he never said a bad word about anyone. As far as Melissa is coping...just one day at a time. It is very lonely for her now, but with friends and family calling and coming over on occasion she will get through this. Give her a call... she knows you do care. Thank you for taking the time to share your feelings about Jason with all of us.<br /><br />Jennifer &amp; Rolf Evers<br /><br />***********************************************<br /><br />Scott,<br /><br />I saw your article Sunday. I know his family appreciated it. Although it made me cry (tell anybody and I will beat you) remembering everything again it also made me laugh remembering how we went to Montana Charlies to buy that stereo for your car and we argued the price with that Asian vendor. I guess that was a foreshadowing to my future life. Anyway, we see or talk to Melissa as much as possible and she is doing ok given the situation. She is strong, always has been.<br /><br />Joe<br /><br />(added 1/18)<br />**********************************************<br /><br />SCOTT,<br /><br />I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW HOW NICE IT WAS FOR YOU COME UP WITH THE ARTICLE. AS YOU CAN SEE FROM YOUR RESPONSES IT REALLY MEANT ALOT. THANK YOU.<br /><br />I WILL HAVE TO ROUND THE BOYS UP TO CATCH YOU AT ONE OF YOUR SHOWS. GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING.<br />J.HILL<br />(added 1/18)<br />***********************************************<br /><br />Scott,<br />I was very touched by the letter you had written. It is amazing to me how many lives that one person can have a positive effect on. I hadn't seen him for about 2 years before his death, but like you said, seeing the pictures, and all of the usually happy familiar faces brought it right back. I was back at Shelton's on a Saturday night (the same place we were every Saturday night) living it up. I look back at the time I spent with him as one of the best times in my life. I think of him, his family and friends daily, and my heart really goes out to Melissa. I think we all feel lost and helpless because there is nothing we can do. Nothing that will help ease the pain of this horrible loss.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing your memories,<br /><br />Jill Szambelan (Barbic)<br /><br />(added 1/18)<br /><br />**********************************************<br /><br />Scott,<br /><br />Although, I have never met you personally, I am writing to thank you for the kind tribute you wrote about my brother, Jason. I can't begin to tell you how very much he meant to me. Although, I am 11 years older than my brother he was a BIG brother to me, lending a helping hand with many of my car problems as well as everyday life problems. He was also a great uncle to my daughter Marissa, stepping in and becoming a father figure to her. This has been and probably will always be the hardest thing I will ever have to endure but with people like you it has really helped me get through this terrible tragedy. The wake and funeral was such an uplifting experience due to the outpour of friends he had near and far. He touched so many lives in such a short time. Never missing out on a good time. He lived so much , able to experience so much in 29 years and now we know there was a reason for that. So again thank you for your article and I hope you will always hold your memories of Jason close to your heart. God Bless you.<br /><br />Jerri Lyn Shelton<br />(added 1/19)<br /><br />**********************************************<br /><br />hey scott,<br /><br />I tried emailin you a couple of days ago but, i<br />don't think it went through. i just wanted to take a<br />moment and drop you a few lines to show my<br />appreciation for the article you wrote about shelton.<br />Jay and I grew pretty close throughout the years as<br />best friends and as brothers in the same union<br />(I.U.O.E. Local 150). It was good seeing you at his<br />wake. I wish the cicumstances would of been different<br />though. We always had good times at your old house.<br />well, once again thanks. Let me know when you're<br />going to be in the area next. We'll try and meet up<br />for some beers.<br /><br />take it easy<br /><br />tom<br /><br />(added 1/21)
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