Wednesday, August 25, 2004



<br>
2:10 AM<br> 
From the "Are You Serious?" Web world, this just in.  <strong>**NOTE!** </strong>If you are offended by crude, obscene language, don't read this post.  If you can do without it on a regular basis, but are intrigued by what may be below, read on.  If you love filth and love to laugh out loud, read on and enjoy the fu%& outta this.<br /><br />I've hired a Web site consultant to help me draw more traffic to <strong>ShaveYourHead.com</strong>.  Among other things he's done so far, he's alerted me to the kinds of people who frequent this very site by entering keyword phrases in a search engine and then ending up here.<br /><br />These are my Website's top ten search engine keyword phrases for last week:<br /><br />1. tulsa comedy club 23 6.1%  <br />2. asian pussy 19 5.1%  <br />3. tulsacomedyclub 10 2.7%  <br />4. motherfucker 7 1.9%  <br />5. big labia 6 1.6%  <br />6. parking in chicago 5 1.3%  <br />7. ball shaving 4 1.1%  <br />8. ex girlfriend 4 1.1%  <br />9. shaveyourhead 4 1.1%  <br />10. learn how to spell 3 0.8% <br /><br />I find that very interesting.  I haven't played in Tulsa in over two years, yet they top the list.  <br /><br />I've never even as much as kissed an Asian woman - ever - and don't even like to look at Asian porn on-line, so that's a huge stumper at Number 2.  <br /><br />I've written the MF a few times when frustrated.  I've said it more often, though.<br /><br />Big labia?  That's hilarious and more of a "whatever it takes to get them here" approach.  <br /><br />Parking in Chicago?  I've easily written about that more than I have about big labia or Asian pussy, so how in the hell can it be so low?  <br /><br />Ball shaving?  Well who hasn't at least trimmed the boys once or twice ... or daily ... and then written about it?<br /><br />Ex-girlfriend?  Having quite a few of them, there's bound to be some incriminating writings about the whores of my past.  Just kidding.  Only a few of them are in the past.<br /><br />Anxious to see what next week's stats will reveal.<br />
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Monday, August 23, 2004



<br>
12:44 PM<br> 
<em><strong>Quigleypalooza '04</strong></em><br /><br />It's a backyard party in suburban Chicago.  Friends and family came to support a live band and play bean-bag toss late into the night.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.shaveyourhead.com/2004_Pictures/June1st/816_BandOnRoof.bmp"><br />I've heard of garage bands but never knew about bands who played on top of garages   These guys rocked the New Lenox night and thought it best for its frontman to make a grand entrance atop the roof, complete with a sleeveless shirt and leather pants.  Notice the shoulder tan lines?  I thought guys who wear sleeveless shirts cut them the same so as to avoid such lines?<br /><br /><img src="http://www.shaveyourhead.com/2004_Pictures/June1st/816_BandCrowd.bmp"><br />Word on the street was that the party would bring in nearly 400 people, perhaps even standing-room-only lawn seats.  But who wants that when you can have 30 close friends cheering you on?  And have a few of them giving the, at least back in my day, "skate or die" sign.  Party-on , gnarly-style.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.shaveyourhead.com/2004_Pictures/June1st/816_YoungGroupie.bmp"><br />A young fan is mesmorized by the band.  Her parents were quick to pull her away from the stage and erase any thoughts of a positive future as a groupie.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.shaveyourhead.com/2004_Pictures/June1st/816_KidsBags.bmp"><br />Now this is better than drooling at the band; Playing bags as only a 2-year-old knows how.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.shaveyourhead.com/2004_Pictures/June1st/816_KidsHorseshoePit.bmp"><br />It's a never-ending battle.  Just when mom and dad pull her from the band and move her to the harmless bean-bag toss, she heads for the sandbox, where there's a pole to dance around for the innocent well-wishers.  I'm never having kids.  That I know of.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.shaveyourhead.com/2004_Pictures/June1st/816_quigs_McGann.bmp"><br />(From L-R) Chris, a guy I lived with in Lincoln Park a few years back, and Jason, the host of Quigleypalooza, who was also welcomed into the group of <strong>ShaveYourHead.com</strong>.  Not sure if the trio of bald guys, even though Chris is fully capable of having a thick head of hair, made this shot blurry.  I'd rather blame whoever took it, but I have no idea.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.shaveyourhead.com/2004_Pictures/June1st/816_BagsJasonKevin.bmp"><br />Brothers Kevin(R) and Jason in a heated battle of the bags against ...<br /><br /><img src="http://www.shaveyourhead.com/2004_Pictures/June1st/816_BagsJohnJoe.bmp"><br />... John and Joe.  It was a little chilly and I was a little drunky, so I didn't watch that long and opted to stay inside and watch SportsCenter and successful comedians on national television.  How do you spend your Saturday nights?<br /><br /><img src="http://www.shaveyourhead.com/2004_Pictures/June1st/816_JohnMeJen.bmp"><br />John, me, Jennifer.  They went to high school together, Lincoln Way's Class of '93; I used to work with Jen.  John thought it best to support our country by wearing a hockey jersey from the Winter Olympics.  In August. During the summer games no less. With that rationale, perhaps he will cheer-on America and wear spandex swim pants in February of '06.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.shaveyourhead.com/2004_Pictures/June1st/816_WithKatie.bmp"><br />This is the oft-mentioned - in conversations - and never-before-pitcured, Katie.  She attended the party, met my friends, and still talks with me daily.  Simply one amazing young lady.  But she didn't like the chops too much.  They've since been shaven off.<br /><br /><br />
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