Friday, March 05, 2004
2:46 PM
Weather sucks again today. Cold and rainy. Last night's show was packed with college kids and military folk. Had a great set and then followed the crowd to the campus hot spot near U of A. Some major leaguers were hanging out there, complete with hot chicks hanging all over them. I got nothin' on millionaire Latin dudes with World Series rings and lavish lifestyles. Unless chicks like hanging on to my clothes rack in the Prizm's backseat.

I ran into a young lady who saw the show. She was left with no ride home, so I offered. I couldn't find the Prizm and then dove into an alley to relieve myself. When I reappeared, she was gone.

"He was creepin' me out," she told the other comic riding with me. "And he looks way older than 29." I found this quite unflattering, especially because I thought my new specs made me look younger. Damn women. Maybe if I grow my hair back and get contacts, things will shape up.

Off to call about Lasex surgery and the Hair Club For Men. I will also need a new Web site obviously. Please send suggestions my way. How about www.FragileEgo.com?

Wednesday, March 03, 2004
12:56 PM
On the road in Tucson, Arizona

Aside from biting my lip 3 times in 13 minutes last night, the show went well. The biting occurred after the show, so it wasn't that big of a deal. Just hurts now as I sit and tongue at the swollen flesh.

I'm staying in another comedy condo. This one is far from anything like a real condo. The headliner gets his room with a TV and mine is next to his - minus a TV. The opener gets the living room and any of the 3 couches - and a TV. I woke him up three times this morning just in passing. But what can I do, his bedroom is where the front door is. Besides, he's got a TV. On the brighter side though, I have a radio that features 3 full hours of The Tony Kornheiser Show on ESPN Radio. I'll get my fill of TK and without the TV, I may actually end up writing some jokes this week. Imagine that.

The weather today sucks. It's cold and rainy. This is Arizona for God's sake. It's supposed to be nice and sunny. I haven't gotten a tan at all and have about 2 weeks left to do so. Come on with the sun already.

My cousin, Todd, who plays minor league baseball for the White Sox, is in Spring Training down here. He and 3 other teammates came to last night's show. I should be able to see Todd pitch while I'm here. Or at least hang out with him. He and his mates are all pretty boys and like 6'2 and 200 pounds. I look like either their agent or their charity case standing beside them.

Well, library time is up. I'm off to do some grocery shopping, hit the gym, take a nap and then write jokes - time permitting of course.