Tuesday, December 09, 2003



<br>
6:57 PM<br> 
The following posts are from my Daily Derenger. I and the technical brass at ShaveYourHead.com don't know what the problem is in the Daily archives. Please read on and enjoy. Happy Holidays.<br /><br /><br />[ Tue Dec 09, 02:55:17 PM | Scott Derenger | edit ]<br /><br />My laptop has some kind of virus. Too much porn I guess. It's so bad I need to wear a condom just to check e-mails.<br /><br /><br />[ Mon Dec 08, 01:36:40 PM | Scott Derenger | edit ]<br /><br />I finished an 8-show, 6-day, 5-city tour last night. Rarely is a Sunday show the best one of the bunch, but last night's Danville, Illinois gig at 610 Tap was just that. The crowd averaged about 50 in age. Sometimes comics thinks that could make it a challenge. Not these folks. They were with us the whole time, listening attentively and laughing heartily. After the show, some outstanding homemade chili was served. I now have memories of Danville trapped in the cushions of my car.<br /><br /><br />[ Fri Dec 05, 07:20:16 AM | Scott Derenger | edit ]<br /><br />Mom's weight-loss has plateaued at about 70 pounds after the gastric bypass surgery. However, I just learned about one of the side effects: voracious malodorous flatulence. Seriously, that's what doctors told her would happen. Nice. She's lost weight and looks much better, but now stinks beyond all imagination. Thanks mom! Anyone got a couch I can crash on 'til I get famous ... or at least 'til I get a job at a Yankee Candle store?<br /><br /><br />[ Thu Dec 04, 05:33:27 PM | Scott Derenger | edit ]<br /><br />I went on a college visit to Southern Illinois at Carbondale today with my mom and sister. Lauren's been accepted there and wanted to make the 5-hour trek to check out the campus. The SIU student newspaper, the Daily Egyptian, had this as the lead story in today's paper: Student assaulted near Campus Lake. Victim says suspect was naked, wearing only white socks. <br /><br />Lauren looked at the housing and admission offices, but passed on the campus tour because naked guys wearing socks in public had moved to the top of the cons portion of her pros/cons list. <br /><br /><br />[ Wed Dec 03, 02:10:49 PM | Scott Derenger | edit ]<br /><br />I'm not a smoker. Generally my hotel rooms are non-smoking, like the one last night in Lafayette, Indiana, home of Purdue University. There was a "non-smoking" sign on the door into the room. There was also a sign that read "This is a non-smoking room" in red bold letters. However, it wasn't placed on the lamp near the desk. It wasn't on the mirror near the sink. It wasn't on the receiver of the phone. The "This is a non-smoking room" sign was placed on the bottom of an over-turned ashtray. What does this say about smokers? You don't follow directions, yet you're responsible? Only in Indiana. But I will have that very ashtray with me at every show, rest assured.<br /><br /><br />[ Tue Dec 02, 02:58:40 AM | Scott Derenger | edit ]<br /><br />Over last the last week or so I have been bombarded with pop-up ads on the Net. They are everywhere, unsolicited, and of a variety like no other. "Refinance your mortgage. Earn your Bachelor's Degree in only a year. Increase the girth of your penis three inches." Well, since I live at home and have no patience for school, why wouldn't I want a thicker penis?<br /><br /><br />[ Sun Nov 30, 10:56:31 PM | Scott Derenger | edit ]<br /><br />My 2003 Thanksgiving weekend highlights: <br /><br />-taking my godson, Gary, and his brother, Nathan, to see "Brother Bear." <br />-seeing old friends at a local watering hole Wednesday night and then at a party on Thursday night . <br />-being recognized and complimented for my work in Herald News. Thanks! <br />-hanging out with Sue and meeting her very nice family. <br />-having about 20 friends come to and see a good show Friday night. New material went over well. <br />-Joliet Catholic, my high school alma mater, won its 11th State Football Title. <br />-had more friends come to a Saturday show, one that sucked, though. Afterwards, we hit a club with midget bartenders. <br />-Bears won big, 28-3. Received David Sedaris Live! and some much needed socks for my birthday from my sister, Lauren. <br />-closing out the five days with watching a tribute to comedy legend, Richard Pryor, one crazy nigga'.
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