Friday, November 14, 2003



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2:07 PM<br> 
Until I can fix the Blogger, the site that allows me to post my writings, I will have to update my Daily Derengers like this.  Here are the last few.<br /><br />[ Wed Nov 12, 03:08:23 PM | Scott Derenger | edit ]<br /><br />Toledo, Ohio this week. Had a blast here last time, back in January. Different hotel this time, one with a pool, a workout room, and a couch in my room. The couch is stained with something you could say gives it character. I bet I'll get something else if I sit on it. Nothing many bath towels can't hide, though. On the couch, not my crotch. A rash is a rash is a rash. One can only hide that for so long.<br /><br />[ Tue Nov 11, 02:52:31 PM | Scott Derenger | edit ]<br /><br />I'm not sure what's wrong with this fuckin' machine or maybe this program. Let's see if this gets posted.<br /><br />[ Tue Nov 11, 09:00:06 AM | Scott Derenger | edit ]<br /><br />As my brother and I were planning the driving arrangements to have lunch with our mother and yiayia, I mentioned going to church in the morning. <br /><br />"You still go?" he asked. <br /><br />"When I can," I said. "But not religiously. Like today I didn't go." <br /><br />If there is any one thing you should do religiously, it should be going to church. Playing cards religiously, watching "Friends" religiously, or having a beer when you get home from work religiously is not where it's at.<br /><br />[ Sun Nov 09, 09:43:58 AM | Scott Derenger | edit ]<br /><br />Writing from my buddy's place in Central Wisconsin. Wisconsin Rapids to be exact. Had way too much chili at 2 a.m. in Sheboygan after last night's show. Ouch. I had to make a run for the john and sitting just outside of the bathroom, on the couch, my buddy's girlfriend whom I have only met twice. The explosion was inevitable and even made our brief conversation painful beyond comprehension. I hope they don't hold what just happened in there against me.<br /><br />[ Thu Nov 06, 01:17:10 AM | Scott Derenger | edit ]<br /><br />I met up with my friend Carl last night. He's been on the road for three weeks from Los Angeles. And boy does he have the wallet to prove it, receipts and all. You may know about the George Costanza wallet, but this thing dwarfed it. Carl set it on the table and the other end of the table tipped up. When he sat down after placing the wallet back in his front pocket, he wasn't able to bend his leg and had to sit with his leg straight out. If I knew how to upload a picture here, I would show you. (Stay tuned for that to happen.) Amazing.
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Monday, November 10, 2003



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12:16 AM<br> 
<em><strong>A new feature here at <em><strong>ShaveYourHead.com</strong></em> will be a guest journal from my friend Leah.  She's working the next few months in England as a college hall director.  I've given her access to my site to share her thoughts.  Leah's a very talented writer whose work you most certainly will enjoy.  Welcome aboard!</strong></em><br /><br />Greetings from Chelsea!<br /><br />I suppose I should actually write this tomorrow--as I am going to Leed's <br />Castle this afternoon and may have something exciting to say.  This will, <br />after all, be the first european castle I've EVER seen.  Lucky me!<br /><br />So, what can I tell you.<br /><br />London Black Taxi's are really cool.  They ride in one similar in <br />Trainspotting, with the backwards door and the HUGE seating area.  It feels <br />really fancy to ride in one and the drivers go to school for 3 years before <br />they are allowed to drive one.  Used to be 5 years of training.  It is <br />called "The Learning" and is when they learn ALL the streets in London--even <br />Manresa, which is one block long.<br /><br />Double decker red buses--also for real.  You hop on the back as it slows <br />down near a stop.  It costs one pound, which you may or may not pay, <br />depending on the mood of the ticket collector.  anyway, i did ride in one <br />yesterday and on the second level.  very cool.  London is a very short <br />city--3-4 storiesfor the most part.  Which is only like the second floor, <br />because it is ground, 1, 2, 3... or worse ground, mezzanine, 1, 2.. all I <br />know is that the main offices at the IES london center are on the 2nd floor <br />and I went up 3 or 4 flights of stairs..<br /><br />um...<br /><br />It is an incredibly diverse city.  one area of the bar last night looked <br />more like tokyo, with a group of 20 or so young asians sitting around.  the <br />music was all the greats of my years in junior high--vanilla ice, mc hammer, <br />etc.  men are way more fashionable here, than in chicago; women are much <br />less cookie cutter.  it is refreshing.<br /><br />well, the bus is here to take me to my castle.<br /><br />all the best,<br />leah<br />
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Sunday, November 09, 2003



<br>
11:16 AM<br> 
I worked this past weekend with Warren B. Hall. I began comedy in Phoenix in '97 and met Warren out there.  He was already about a year into it.  Since then I've moved back to Chicago and he and his girlfriend, Chris, have moved to central Wisconsin for her job as a chemical engineer, which involves cheese products now.<br /><br />I always thought Warren had all kinds of talent and needed to get into clubs and showcase his stuff.  I kept on him, giving him all the contacts I had and he's been touring seriously for the better part of three years now.  The Midwest has been a great move as the number of clubs in these parts dwarfs those of the Southwest.<br /><br />Our shows this weekend were in Neguanee, MI and Sheboygan, WI.  Neguanee is in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan or a 6-hour drive from Chicago through Green Bay and then northeast.  Sheboygan, or Sheboygan Falls to be more precise with the show’s location, is an hour north of Milwaukee.<br /><br />I drove from Milwaukee to pick Warren up from home in Wisconsin Rapids, smack dab in the middle of the state.  From there we began just over a 6-hour trek to the UP.  The last two times I did the gig, I arrived at night, got a quick nap, did the show and went to bed.  This was more of the same thing.<br /><br />The show began late, as there was a huge high school football playoff game just down the road.  It was later learned that 7000 people were there.  And not at our show.  Only about 80 people for us, making for a small crowd from what they were use to.  Warren and I played a few games of pool, he winning them both, and then just bullshitted with some locals awaiting the show. <br /><br />I went up first.  Being that we had a show each night, we figured we’d switch the order.  For whatever reason, I was a bit rusty out of the gate.  Doing the same material over and over, especially for at a venue which has seen my twice before, got to me.   I was cutting up my regular act and inserting new bits that didn’t really fit.  Sure they were funny but they didn’t belong where I had put them.  I happen to be one to draw attention to a joke that falls on deaf ears, either making the crowd feel dumb for not laughing or making myself look like an ass for them not laughing.  Either way, it slows down the shows, throws off your timing and makes things much harder than they are.<br /><br />Right at that moment of silence or puzzled looks, you begin to wonder why they’re not laughing and subsequently re-think the reason you’re doing comedy in the first place.  You second-guess the 9-hour drive through snow for 45 minutes of jokes and $200, all the while knowing that it rests solely on your shoulders.  As often as comics say it’s the crowd or the venue or the PA system, it’s more to do with the comic than anything.  Perhaps the A-game wasn’t there, whether it’s from not enough sleep or other shit going on in his or her head.  It’s just the comic and the crowd, no drummer, bassist or back -up vocalist to point the finger at.<br /><br />Being that I’m a far dirtier comic than Warren or most comics for that matter, I wasn’t sure how my going first would affect the overall show.  It generally works best to have the show work cleaner to dirtier.  After a guy does graphic sexual humor, jokes that are clean and clever don’t get the same respect.  It’s the way things work in our heads.<br /><br />I got the laughs where I should have, but didn’t get any where I should’ve gotten some.  That’s where the thrown-off began.  They still laughed nonetheless and I went about five minutes over, bid farewell and then sulked over a 32-ounce Bud Light.<br /><br />Warren didn’t fare much better.  My perversion didn’t set him up for success with an already pretty dead crowd.  Sure funny is funny and sure the comic has the final say, but some energy from the peeps always helps.  He finished his set, we asked where to go for a shot of ego-boost and made our way to a strip of bars in downtown Neguanee.<br /><br />The town was small so most of the bars had some people from the show.  Because the show was far less comedy-laden than both Warren and I had hoped, we weren’t nearly the celebrities we usually were in small town America.  That translated into us having to buy our own drinks, me a Budweiser and Warren a Red Bull.<br /><br />It was horribly cold with temps in single digits.  We hit three bars, one of which featured a Blue Grass band, complete with cowboy hats and sleeveless button-down shirts, performing “Gin ‘n Juice.�  I have the pics to prove it, too.  The locals were very nice as we hopped bars with them and eventually made our way to Taco Bell around 3 a.m.  No matter how bad the show goes or how sparse the female selection is, a Grilled Stuft Steak Burrito is only a drive-thru away.<br /><br />Saturday’s show was in a bowling alley in Sheboygan Falls.  Unlike most out of town gigs, this one came with no hotel.  We could’ve paid for one, but there’s just something about having that taken care of for us.  We got paid more than the night before for doing the same amount of show.  However, any money we can save on any expenses is money in our pocket.  Certainly not to stay there too long of course.<br /><br />We killed time before the show by stopping off for breakfast and then hitting a jam-packed mall in Appleton.  Once in Sheboygan, we headed to the movie theater for “Runaway Jury,� a very, very good movie, even though it had John Cusack in it.  The same John Cusack who didn’t tip me when I waited on him at Wrigley Field earlier this year.  I did take a picture with him in the playoffs and seeing him give a stellar performance in RJ, I now cut him slack on the tipping thing.  Why?  I don’t know.  He easily made a few million from it.  Why not give your Wrigley waiter a c-note when he brings you wings and water?<br /><br />The bowling alley room was filled with comedy fans, maybe 100.  It was smaller than that of the UP and had been great the last two times I did it.  Warren and I arrived there just before showtime, after changing and cleaning up in the McDonald’s bathroom about 300 yards from the gig.  <br /><br />“Who knew that six years after starting comedy we’d be prepping for a bowling alley show in a fast food express gas station,� I joked.  We made similar jokes about being brought together by fake palm trees in the UP the night before.  Seriously, they had fake palm trees at a pizza place with shag carpet.<br /><br />Warren went first and had a solid set.  His energy and clean material paved the way for me, the pervert with a purpose, to rock the house.  Or more specifically, the alley.<br /><br />I just felt a better vibe than on Friday.  The crowd was more hyped and I was ready to deliver.  Even though I hadn’t added that much new material, maybe 12 minutes from the year before, I worked with a conviction and a presence that both took the night off on Friday.<br /><br />“If you guys saw me last year, you’re gonna see the same shit,� I said early on.  “If I could write a new act in a year, I wouldn’t be playing in a fuckin’ Sheboygan bowling alley.�  They laughed and all was great after that.<br /><br />Warren sold-out of DVD’s and I sold a good number of beer koozies.  But mark my word please, I will never sell any more fuckin’ bumper stickers or beer koozies again.  He sold six and made $60.  I sold 22 and made $48.  My first CD will be out by the end of the year or I’ll quit.<br /><br />After the show, we felt 10 times better than the night before.  Amazing what a packed house and a great show can do for a comic.  We mingled with the crowd and then made our way to the local watering holes.  A guy who Warren met last time, Matt, was at the show.  We hung out with him and his buddies well into the night.  When the bars closed, Matt invited us to his place for some more beer and homemade chili, which I am feeling the aftermath of currently.<br /><br />All was well again in comedy land.  I was dead tired having drank a little and having done all the driving on the trip.  With Warren not being a drinker, he took the keys and I took the all-but-frozen pillow out of the Prizm’s trunk and served as his napping co-pilot.  Three hours later we were back in Wisconsin Rapids where I sit typing this.<br /><br />Even though Friday night was something worth forgetting, working with Warren was something therapeutic.  We took comedy classes six years ago in Phoenix where we dreamed of one day being famous comedians. The fame isn’t there yet, outside of small-town Sheboygan Falls that is, but we still made a bunch of people laugh.  Somewhere up in the heavens, our comedy mentor back in Phoenix, Louis Anthony Russon, is smiling down on us, applauding our accomplishments, marveling at what our talents have produced and most certainly shaking his head at whatever comes out of my mouth.<br /><br />Here’s to good laughs, good drives, and good friends.  Check out Warren’s first book of poetry on-line, <a href="http://www.1stbooks.com/"><em>Pieces of Me</em></a>.  I had the fortunate opportunity to have Warren read some Pieces to me.  Watch out Longfellow and Frost, and make some room for Warren B. Hall.  Type in his name and you’ll see excerpts from his book and an order form.  <br />
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