Thursday, September 25, 2003
10:07 AM
Last night's show was in Beloit, Wisconsin, a city of about 35,000 people. The show had maybe 20 people at it. They were small but mighty. At points.

Some of my jokes worked while others fell flat to their death. I had only been doing short sets so stretching for 35 minutes was a challenge last night. I had my beer koozie around a Budweiser, even plugging ShaveYourHead.com and telling them "these things are for sale after the show." To no avail.

The one I had around my beer I gave to the headliner. He seemed to like my idea and may look into something similar. Scott Wickman was his name. From Chicagoland as well and a very nice and funny guy. He and I worked together in northern Minnesota about 2 years ago. He drove up there and I rode shotgun. Fun times and fun stories to boot on that trip. My shows weren't much to speak of then either. Could've been the hunting convention in town. Not feeling like laughing when you've spent the day covered in deer piss only to not even shoot at one.

Now for last night's chick update. These small town gigs usually bring out some hotties. However, they usually bring guys with them and EVERYONE knows EVERYONE else. Sometimes there's one who broke away from the pack.

Not on this night. Or maybe there were but there was no sense in ruffling any feathers if her man or a man who'd like to be hers was sitting at the bar.

The bartender seemed nice. Big luscious lips and a white thong that crept out every time she bent down to get a beer. She knew it was showing. She had to feel the draft but probably wanted the guys to enjoy the show. Better tips I'm sure. I watched the other guys in the bar whenever she bent down. Their reaction was worth the price of admission. If I wasn't the entertainment for the night that is.

She talked about her boy-toys and appeared to be in need of one. While grabbing a bottle of "Hot Sex" to put back in its place near some whiskey and rum, she said "This is the only sex I'll be gettin' tonight."

I didn't say anything. Had plenty of things running through my head, though. We continued small talk about Beloit and her life. It wasn't about me at this point. After all, she had just heard about my shitty existence for 35 minutes.

I thought maybe I had a chance with her. The beers were free and she wanted some "Hot Sex." The clock wasn't in my favor. She worked 'til 2:30 and I left around 1. I wasn't staying for something with no certainty attached to it. Besides, one of her boy-toys stumbled in a few minutes before I left. She took her shirt off, leaving on a halter top with no bra. That was enough assurance for me who would hold the bottle on this night. And I was out the door.

Off to Rock Falls, Illinois, about 40 miles East of the Quad Cities.