The Daily Derenger

4/13/2002

Quote of the month from some guy in Carthage, IL. "The people here are so poor we need to jack off the dog to feed the cat."

4/10/2002

Perverted Chicago sports anchor arrested.

It sounds like something you would've read had I been a broadcaster. But as a comic, I get paid to be a pervert and not arrested. The beauty that is America. Gotta love it!

Back in '96, when I was attending The Illinois Center for Broadcasting in Lombard, IL, I was interning at CLTV in Oak Brook, IL in their sports department for 3 months. The sports director was Rob Goldman, a funny, charismatic guy who made my time there fun. He let me write the questions for the weekly call-in trivia show on Thursday nights. I was not going by "Derenger" at that point and had not even thought about pursuing comedy. I was "Deininger." Goldman would read the questions on the air and, upon realizing either how difficult or absurd they were, he would yell out "Dining room" as his way of puposely butchering my last name. That was my first TV credit I guess.

Anyway, Goldman is back in the news. He has been arrested for soliciting sex from a minor over the internet. The "minor" was really an undercover cop. To read the aricle in it's entirety, click here.

4/10/2002

I was in downtown Chicago today and, of course, I saw many people begging for money. One such fellow was dealt a really band hand. He was in a wheelchair and both his legs were cut off just above the ankles. Or maybe he was never born with them at all. Anyway. My friend said, "Oh, that poor guy." All I could say was, "At least he doesn't have to worry about althete's foot."

To read more of my ignorant comments about the handicapped and anyone else, including me, click here.

4/07/2002

Yesterday was a great day. It of course began with me finding the greatest parking spot two spaces down from my front door. Things just rolled from there. A friend then took me out for drinks and appetizers in the city. It was 2:30pm. We sat in an Irish bar on Michigan avenue and watched the entire Cubs game. They lost. But we were warm and cozy. And buzzed by the time the final out was made. We then headed to a loud, hip Italian ristorante called Scoozi for some more drinks and eats. Great food and a great atmosphere was found in addition to the company of a great girl. The bill eventually came. It totaled $0.00. How great is that? My date's ex-boyfriend use to manage there. Apparently they thought that she and he were still an item. Clearly they were not. Whatever the case, we had our shit comped. Excellent. Every now and than this broke-ass comic needs to have a good time. Yesterday was one of those times.