The Daily Derenger

4/03/2002

I've lived in my current apartment for a little over 6 months. I began with 3 roommates but only 2 have lived here since mid-January. I've been on the road a lot and haven't really hung out with any of them, especially in the last few months. Tonight that all changed. For a brief moment, the 3 of us were brought together by the ever-powerful American favorite called the television. First we enjoyed a huge pot of pasta and breadsticks that I whipped up. Then it was "The New Family Feud" with that eye-sore Louie Anderson followed by the Cubs whoopin' up on the Reds with Sammy homerin'! But I forgot we had HBO. That means the 3 of us spent the rest of our Wednesday night watching back-to-back episodes of "Sex in the City." I guess this is what I've been missing while on the road in northeastern Nevada telling jokes to people who were drunk from playing Tequila Bingo - male bonding and watching 4 women in their 30's bitch about not being married. Where can I sign up for more of this shit?

4/02/2002

You know what is better than a night of great sex? Finding a parking spot on your street! I know that seems absurd but in Chicago's Lincoln Park, great sex takes a back seat to great parking. I was so stoked to have found that spot that I had actually sex IN the back seat. So it was the best of both worlds I guess. But now, since the parking spot is so choice, I don't want to drive anywhere. I just want to look out of my apartment window and smile at the Prizm, knowing that she is only a few feet away, safe and sound. When you have no money, life's simplest pleasures are the best. And I know I ain't bullshittin' nobody, you can't beat great sex! So here's cheers to great parking, great sex, the Cubs' season beginning, and Extreme Zesty Sour Cream and Cheddar Doritos.

4/01/2002

Yesterday was a monumental day for me and the Prizm. She went over 100,000 miles. Now all those miles aren't mine. I bought her with just over 52,000 miles in February of '01. But still, 48,000 miles in 13 months is a pretty intense relationship. Her and I have been through a lot of states and all kinds of weather. Here are just a few Prizm highlights:
-visiting the likes of Graceland and the natural beauty of the Western states on that 7-week tour last year.
-getting one of the best fellating experiences of my day while in the "driver's seat."
-forgetting to put on the parking brake and having her roll out of the parking lot and over a curb and damaging the muffler.
-seeing such sports and collegiate meccas as U of Florida, U of Michigan, U of Arkansas, U of Missouri, Arizona State U, UCLA, U of Texas Tech , U of Georgia Tech, and also Royals Stadium, Arrowhead Stadium, Coors Field, the old and new Mile High Stadium, Miller Park, Metrodome, Lambeau Field, TWA Dome, Busch Stadium, Silverdome, and Jack Murphy Stadium stadium among others.
-simply learning how to drive the thing was quite an accomplishment since she's a 5-speed.

Many more good times await. Be sure to check out the message board for more stories!

3/31/2002

Check this out. This friend and I were talking about sex the other day. Shocking I know. We got into discussion about what we like to do during sex. I asked her if she likes her hair pulled. She said, "No, that's disrespectful." "Oh," I replied. "Then what do you like?" "To be spanked, she answered. "I really like to be spanked and make it sting and then rub it in!" HOLD ON. Hair pulling is disrespectful but a stinging spank is respectful? I can just hear Aretha Franklin remaking "RESPECT" to include a spanking verse. "R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me ... sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me ..." If "sock it to me" are the actual words in the song, then maybe she's a fan of the spank afterall. With that said, I'm all about respect now.