Comedian to travel overseas

I'm not quite Bob Hope, but I'm well on my way. To play for our troops overseas, that is. Not sure about achieving Hope's fame and fortune, though.

The call came early on a Tuesday last month. I had sent a few e-mails and left a few voice mails to inquire about the Comics on Duty World Tour.

"Would you be available in April?" asked Rich Davis, the tour's executive producer.

"Absolutely. It would be an honor. Just tell me what I need to do, and I'm in."

I have been overseas twice before for our military, each time on single tours to Japan and Korea, one pre- and one post-9/11. But they weren't the sights of heated combat and daily deaths, sometimes by the dozens, like in Iraq right now.

Tomorrow, I will leave for a two-week tour to Iraq and Kuwait to entertain the men and women of the United States Armed Forces. Black Hawk helicopters (yes, like the ones in the movies) will shuttle us from base to base. On stage, bulletproof and flack vests, along with helmets, will take the place of my typical collared shirt and brown leather jacket.

The Japan/Korea tours were much different that what I'm about to experience. Back then, I played in banquet halls or lounges for troops after they worked. They dressed casually and had cocktails beforehand.

This time around, the crowds will wear their fatigues and some will be armed. Some shows will be outside with gunfire off in the distance. It actually might not be that much different from where I live in Rogers Park.

I also was advised to write a will before I embark on this trip. Pondering the thought for a few days, I sat down to write one. Sadly, two minutes later, I was stuck at No. 4.

"My laptop, my sports memorabilia and my comedy material," I whispered aloud to myself. "I don't really have anything else. Unless someone wants the unpaid-for Prizm and her 207,000 miles."

My flight from Chicago's O'Hare Airport is direct into Amsterdam. From there, we head to Kuwait. Once in Amsterdam, my orders are quite unique.

"When you de-board the plane, head to the casino bar in the airport," Davis instructed me. "The rest of the comedy crew will meet you there."

How about that! I've heard Amsterdam was a good time, but a casino in the airport? Twist my arm a bit.

Fellow comedian and longtime friend, Warren B. Hall, nudged open the door into Comics on Duty for me. Warren spent this past Thanksgiving in Iraq and all of January there and in Afghanistan.

"Make sure you call me when you're packed," he said during a recent phone call. "I'll tell you everything you won't need. With all the traveling and helicopter hopping, you want to take as little as possible. Plus they give you a ton of stuff over there. You'll need another bag just for the freebies."

Often, in my somewhat lackluster comedy career, dating the better part of six years now, I downplay my accomplishments. Having never been on TV for even as much as an extra in a dish soap commercial, I wonder if the low pay and long drives are worth it. Single-handedly, this tour makes it all worth it.

While I don't agree with the war itself, I fully support the men and women risking their lives for us. As a comedian, freedom of speech is vital in this craft. Being afforded the opportunity to personally thank our troops is more rewarding than any five-minute Late Show spot could possibly offer.

Depending on the Internet access overseas, I plan to update my Web site, www.ShaveYourHead.com, daily with photos, interviews and stories with the other comedians and the troops I meet. Please check back often and keep us all in your prayers. Thanks for your support.

Scott Deininger is a standup comedian originally from Shorewood. Contact him via his Web site, www.ShaveYourHead

04/03/05