Publication: MattOnAir.com
Publication Date: 06/27/2000

Derenger Shot #4

Miller Time, Trade Sammy

Look out folks. Comedians are taking over the world. Dennis Miller as the third wheel on Monday Night Football is just the beginning. I can see it now, "Seinfeld for Senate 2008." Why not? If a former professional wrestler who wore pink tights and blue feathers can become governor, why not have a comedian as President of the United States ? Just a thought.

Huge props to ABC for "shaking up the world" with their hiring of Miller. Some people say "why" Dennis Miller. Well why the hell not? I'm not a huge fan of his high-brow comedy, but nobody out there lays the sarcasm on thicker or smoother. Perhaps this will allow Miller to plug "calls for under a buck" in between touchdowns and time outs.

"What does Dennis Miller know about football?" Who cares. That's what Al Michaels and Dan Fouts are for. Miller will make those 42-14-with-13-minutes-left in-the-fourth-quarter games watch able. It's like driving from Joliet to Florida to visit the grandparents - half the fun is just getting there. Now, on Monday nights, half the fun will be getting Miller's jokes and obscure references.

Bring on the rants. It's Miller time!

Nowwhat aboutSammy Sosa and the Chicago Cubs? For years those two have been synonymous with each other. Perhaps not for much longer however.

I'm a die hard Cub fan so trading Sammy Sosa wouldn't shock me at all. Nothing the Cubs do can shock a die hard Cub fan - they're the Cubs remember. If Sammy gets traded today, Wrigley Field will be sold out tomorrow. Why? Because it's Wrigley Field in Chicago Illinois . It's at the top of people's "things to do list" upon visiting the windy city. Sure, there are a good number of true blue Cub fans at the home games , but there's also a good chunk of "fans" who sit through an 8 inning game not knowing who the hell is playing. "Get me another beer. Hell, let's do another round!"

The Tribune Company sees dollar signs not loyalty or championships. For god's sake, they're the frickin' Tribune Company. They can afford to "buy" a contender a la the Yankees. But why? A last place team puts more fannies in the seats than does their American League rival on Chicago 's South side. And the White Sox are in first place! This is a business which the Tribune Company is running very well.

Trade Sammy. He's almost 32 and is a now a one-dimensional player. Nobody's arguing that he's not an offensive threat. He certainly is. But his defense and strike out totals are down right offensive as well.

If the Cubs are losing with Sammy, why not continue losing without him? Get a few players in the deal. A couple of pitchers and a right fielder? Aside from Kerry Wood and Cory Patterson in Triple A, who do the Cubs have to build around? To win, you need to get younger, not older. A nice combination of youth and experience wouldn't be bad either.

I'll keep watching the loveable losers. Let's follow ABC's lead and put Alyssa Milano in the bleachers as a "fan's perspective" reporter. Wow! Sammy who?