Brush with fame out West

"Why don't you go to California?"

That's what I usually hear from people when they find out I'm a comedian.

"Have you ever thought about Hollywood?"

Of course I have. A lot. Now that's not to say my being 29, living at home and driving a soon-to-be-paid-off Prizm isn't the splendid life. It has its splendid moments, moments and memories I packed up and took with me to the land of mountains and movie stars.

I've been in the Los Angeles area for about five weeks. Aside from the weather being gorgeous and the scenery equally breathtaking, it's been far less than it's cracked up to be.

I didn't have a heavily slated agenda for Los Angeles, figuring that would allow me to hope for the best but expect the worst. I was simply coming out here to check out the comedy scene and perhaps rub elbows with some celebrities.

My first celeb run-in was on the set of "The Late Late Show" with Craig Kilborn. My comedian friend, Chad Daniels, was making his network debut on the show and asked if I wanted to hang out at the show.

"I'd love to," I said to Chad. "And they have free food and beer in the green room, right?"

Nice to see my priorities were lined up so well.

Upon entering the CBS Studios, I took an elevator up to the show. Inside the elevator were three people, including actor Sean Astin, the first guest on Kilborn. Since I'm such a big-time comedian, at least in Northern Wisconsin after a show in a shag-carpet pizza joint, I'm no longer star struck, especially by "Mikey" from "Goonies."

"I enjoy your work. I actually went to high school at Joliet Catholic, where Rudy went," I said to Astin, who portrayed Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger in the smash-hit, "Rudy."

"But what was up with the colors of the high school jersey in the movie?" I jokingly asked. "We wore brown, gold and white. You wore maroon and white. What's with that?"

Astin was a little baffled at having his chops busted by a complete stranger. On the elevator of a national show he's the main guest on, no less, not to mention while he's a star of a multi-billion dollar grossing motion picture trilogy, "The Lord of the Rings."

"I'm not sure. Rudy never said anything about that," said Astin, or he said something to that effect, and he went back to thumbing through the article about himself in "Rolling Stone."

"Nice job, idiot," I thought to myself. "You've been in Hollywood for less than a week, and the first celebrity you actually meet gets read the Riot Act about a jersey he wore in a movie 11 years ago."

It's not like Astin said to the director of "Rudy" or even Rudy himself, "Are you sure this is the same color they wore at Joliet Catholic? I want to be certain. I'm a consummate professional. I don't want some bald-headed, disgruntled alumni-turned-comedian calling me out in 11 years."

And that I had done.

Look for more of my success principles in my autobiography, "How to Burn Bridges and Influence People ... to Never Talk to You Again."

 

Scott Deininger is a standup comedian from Shorewood. He can be contacted and his work can be found via his Web site, www.ShaveYourHead.com

03/07/04